Fumbling Forward

Head-butted out of Miami

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:54:00 -0400

At this point we may all know Chad Johnson/Ochocinco more as a brand rather than a football player. Take note Gronk, while athletes with undeniable skills dominate on the field, if their focus shifts too much from team player to playa, it could end in lost respect…and a job.

When Chad was just getting started as a Bengal, he established himself as a joker, but also as one of the best receivers in the league. However, with his ongoing antics, his own reality show, and a decline in his abilities on the field, he was eventually let go to New England where he had an underwhelming season, to say the least, bringing him to his very temporary home as a Dolphin. I really thought things were looking up for Chad in Miami; just the other week he was beaming on HBO’s new season of Hard Knocks. While there was no denying he was acting like himself, dropping 7 F-bombs in one conference, and having a “talk” with head coach Joe Philbin about the image he would be portraying, he seemed pumped to bring his A game to Miami and be given another shot at proving his career’s not over.

And then there’s his personal life. In Chad’s world nothing says commitment like dropping the “Ochocinco” and re-committing to Johnson, which he did for his new wife. So, I really did think things were looking up for Chad…until this weekend. Chad, say it ain’t so! Head-butting domestic violence charges?? Losing your spot as a happy Dolphin, man oh man. What’s next for Chad?

It's Back...

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 14:08:00 -0400

Football, that is. Happy first day of training camp! Not Gronk, he never left! Man, he was all over the place this off-season, never skipping a party rocking, fist pumping beat. Reality TV dating on The Choice (where I have total faith he was looking for a real, long lasting love as can be found on The Bachelorette), partying (sans shirt, of course), charity appearances (he strutted his stuff at a charity football game for Best Buddies in Boston that I attended and Tom Brady was unfashionably late for), magazine covers (see picture below), you name it, he did it in the off-season and I’m pretty sure we couldn’t get rid of him if we tried…not that I want to, look at those abs! Can you say Magic Mike worthy? Gronk, call me maybe…

It wasn’t just the summer of Gronk shenanigans, it was the off-season where the Patriots ditched my beloved Ochocinco. Though he certainly did not deliver last season, leaving my affections for him lackluster, as you know, here at Fumbling Forward, I have a soft spot for the man whose love of himself is unparalleled, and it cracks me up. Chad, congrats on your nuptials and your new name change back to Johnson. Soo now that you finagled a #85 jersey in Miami, are you going to keep it? How long will this last? Either way, wishing you luck in Miami as long as that doesn’t entail you bringing it in full force like you failed to do for the Pats, that would really break my Ocho-loving heart. P.s. loving you on Instagram, Chad, always modeling new suits and kicks, looking fresh.

Also, Brady is having another super human sure to be beautiful baby with Gisele. As you can see, it was a busy off-season.

But now let’s get down to football.

Will Gronk’s ankle be good to go after he clearly wasn’t extra restful the past few months? It better be.
What’s the deal with Welker and his contract? Is this his last season after he only signed a one year franchise tender? Boy needs to be back in 2013, he’s a Patriot Supah Stah averaging over 100 receptions and 1,000 yards receiving, and earning four pro-bowls and an All-Pro selection in 2009 and 2011 since joining the Pats in 2007. Could we bounce back after losing that kind of power?
We said goodbye to the “law firm,” Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis, and fellow Tight End Kevin Faulk this off-season, so where does that leave the team in terms of TEs? Well, last year we drafted Shane Vereen, who looked promising before an injury side-lined him, not to mention Stevan Ridley will hopefully be on the move. We’ll be looking to them for some big plays.
Then there was that teeny tiny, well actually big issue the team had last year…defense. If I know Bill, and in my own way I think I do (I mean I did channel him on Halloween last year/kind of cross dress…), he won’t let that little issue persist this season. The motto this off-season was “be aggressive, B-E aggressive” and we acquired Chandler Jones, who does martial arts training (no big deal), and Dont’a Hightower who at 6-4 270 lbs, is massive.

So, we shall see, but I have faith in the Patriot way and am oh so excited for my football Sundays to rear their lovely head again! Get out the beers and cheers to the beginning of my 2.5 season as a full-fledged football lover!

Hello Fumbling Forward followers! Until football returns in full force, I will be on a break from...

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 12:33:18 -0400

Hello Fumbling Forward followers!

Until football returns in full force, I will be on a break from blogging as well. See you all in the fall!

Love,

Jenna

Womp Womp

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:49:15 -0500

Funny, but I didn’t realize until right now, at this very moment, that not only did my team come in second this year, but so did I in fantasy. That’s a big “womp womp,” but also a small “yay me?” Argh.

There's Always A Silver Lining

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:00:00 -0500

There's Always A Silver Lining:

“Is it better to make it to the Super Bowl and suffer the ultimate crushing defeat, or to have never made it at all?” ”Why am I so upset right now?” “Jenna, you’re on vacation, buck up, this is not the end of the world, it’s just a game.” “Where is the exit…where the hell is the exit?! I have to get out of this bar ASAP!” “Is that Giants fan following me and mocking me? Seriously, man get away from me.” ”Where is the closest frozen yogurt shop?”

These were some of the thoughts going through my head in the moments following the Patriots’ crushing defeat.

Everyone deals with grief differently and by the 4th quarter my cell phone had been turned off as a safety precaution. Nervous eating ensued. By the end of the game I was briskly walking out of that bar, away from the TVs with their mocking stream of confetti, away from Eli’s smiling mug, and high tailing it to the closest frozen yogurt shop to soothe my soul with my favorite low cal treat (surprise surprise). My next impulse reaction: “if I’m not going to be happy, I’m going to make other people happy.” I started giving money out to the homeless. It helped a little.

The attached article was sent to me by a friend, and out of all the articles I have read in the past few days, it captures my thoughts and emotions most accurately. Author Bill Simmons has helped me cope with the Patriots loss by showing me I am not alone in my grief, way of handling my grief, and thought processes following loss, and also by pointing out 15 “silver linings” from Super Bowl 46.

First off, he confronts the haunting question, “why does this matter to me so much?” I struggled with this question Sunday night. I’m healthy. My family is healthy (and Giants fans, boo). I have wonderful friends and a fantastic boyfriend. Clearly in the grand scheme of things, losing a sporting event is not the worst thing in the world. I felt insane. I couldn’t bear to turn on my phone and see pity texts, mocking texts, Facebook victory statuses, I was crushed. “There’s no feeling quite like watching your team blowing a big game. It’s devastating. It’s paralyzing. It’s the only feeling that a 6-year-old, a 42-year-old and a 64-year-old can share exactly.” Sure, I was hurting, but how special and unique is it that all sports fans, young, old, male, female, everyone feels exactly the same; it’s just another reason to love the game.

I do truly believe that in light of every bad experience, every loss, there is a silver lining. Even if you can’t spot it at first, in time, it becomes clear. Though my feelings of sadness overwhelmed me, they were also feelings of connectivity in sorrow to an entire fandom, which is weirdly comforting, and in itself a silver lining.

That Sunday morning, Simmons went to the Hoosiers gym in Indiana and also talked his way out of a speeding ticket. As a result, Simmons found a silver lining in Sunday not only being the day that the Patriots lost the Super Bowl. Whenever I think back to Super Bowl 46, I will remember that it wasn’t just the weekend the Patriots lost the Super Bowl, but also the weekend I spent in San Francisco wine touring, eating five course French meals, and enjoying 65 degree weather in February. Certainly a silver lining.

Simmons and I also both share in the very odd joy that the Super Bowl was followed by a “To Catch a Predator” marathon. Disturbing, yes. Unintentionally hilarious, yes. Watching Chris Hansen nail those sick SOBs by tempting them with sweet tea and fake internet personas helped ease my pain.

“Sweet Caroline” made a timely appearance on the cab’s radio as I was headed home. Boston, Patriots, I love you no matter what. I’m a newbie, it was the first time that I cared about a team in the Super Bowl and I know it won’t be the last. Super Bowl 47, watch out.

GO PATS, GO!!!!!

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 12:42:05 -0500

GO PATS, GO!!!!!

Take note, Ladies and Gentleman. However, a few points I find...

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 11:21:05 -0500

Take note, Ladies and Gentleman. However, a few points I find fault with:

1) I would encourage you to mimic touchdown celebrations. Maybe even invent your own and get down wit yo bad self.
2) Hey, I don’t think this year’s Super Bowl would be legit without at least one Tebow.
3) If you feel inspired to play the banjo whilst wearing a speedo…I say go with your instincts.

Have a super Super Bowl, everyone! GO PATRIOTS!!!

Super Bowl Snack Ideas

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:41:06 -0500

Super Bowl Snack Ideas:

Preparing for a Super Bowl party is easy when it comes to food. Everyone will be totally satisfied with some monster sandwiches, chips and dips, and beer…lots of beer. But, As you’ve seen from pictures of mine, I like themed food, it’s way cuter and even if your not going for the “cute” vibe because it cramps your manly style, the women at your Super Bowl party will go gaga for it, and you’ll be applauded for your creativity. So, in order to feed your creative football fan foodie side, I present to you a lovely list of game time snack ideas. Enjoy!

Photo

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:20:05 -0500

Because sometimes, someecards just finds the words that I...

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 12:40:05 -0500

S- Love that we're on the same side Sun.

And I'm from one and live in the other..

Ellie, that's you.

Yea, so what?

Super Bowl #s helping us all learn a bit

Because sometimes, someecards just finds the words that I cannot.

Getting increasingly excited for Sunday….

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:20:06 -0500

Getting increasingly excited for Sunday….

The Real Housewives of Boston have a message for the Pats. How...

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:36:17 -0500

The Real Housewives of Boston have a message for the Pats. How come I haven’t found friends like these while living in Boston?

The entire team in cupcake form? The Pats have never looked so delicious! Bill's cupcake alter-ego even has his signature hoodie. Awesome.

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:06:14 -0500

The entire team in cupcake form? The Pats have never looked so delicious! Bill's cupcake alter-ego even has his signature hoodie. Awesome.

Make way for Gronklings! While the play on “Make Way for...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:15:28 -0500

Make way for Gronklings! While the play on “Make Way for Ducklings” is adorable, if Gronk actually had spawn, these little itty bitty cute ducks are far far far from what I’d imagine. He’d have monstrous children that I imagine looking more like the aliens from Space Jam:

What’s your favorite play of the year? Don’t forget...

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 09:16:05 -0500

What’s your favorite play of the year? Don’t forget to vote! My favorite? It would have to be Jerome Simpson of the Bengals’ touchdown flip. Maybe we’ll see him compete in the next Olympic games. He’d definitely give those tiny gymnasts a run for their money!

This has to be one of the best things I have ever seen. Peyton...

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:41:00 -0500

This has to be one of the best things I have ever seen. Peyton Manning joining forces with Brady, not so unlike my brother and I rooting for the same team this coming Sunday. Get your own rival, Eli! Football, I love you.

Camels Stink

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:36:00 -0500

For the past week I’ve tried in vain to avoid any and all Super Bowl prediction news. It’s silly, no one can possibly know who will come out victorious and I honestly don’t need the stress of it. However, I couldn’t help but read one article that was sent to me by my loving/somewhat Giants loving fan of a mother (click here to read) who declared that “we no longer have to wonder what the outcome of the game will be.” Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, mom. Would it be weird to take a hit out on a camel? She has a pretty good track record but come on I don’t trust any predictions that “flow from [a] love of graham crackers.” That’s total BS, Princess, I don’t trust you and your plain, non-smores graham crackers.

Boston & NY. Oh Sh*^&t.

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:55:46 -0500

From kickoff of the Patriots game to the Giants’ game winning field goal, I don’t think I breathed once yesterday. Well OK, maybe there was some breathing involved to scream, to writhe in agony, to text that I was freaking out, to get up to get more snacks because I needed to keep busy, and to generally keep freaking out. If either game had been more exciting, I would have feared for the well being of fans all over. Instead, today, I fear for the safety of Ravens’ kicker Billy Cundiff. For one, Ray Lewis just missed what could have been his last opportunity to play in the Super Bowl and is now talking about retirement. Cundiff, being mostly responsible for the Ravens losing their shot to beat the Patriots in overtime, might be getting a late night visit from Lewis and his gang…and as we all know, that could get ugly. Is there a safe house someone can get Billy to? Witness protection program? Maybe even just a friend or loved one to watch over him in the coming weeks, you know, just in case…I kid you not, I feel so terribly for him. My overwhelming excitement that my team was going to compete in the Super Bowl was seriously matched by how sad I was for Billy, and I admit, the Ravens. The game was such an exciting, well played game…for the whole kit and caboodle to come down to poor Billy missing a field goal, what a way to go out. The looks on their faces broke my die hard Patriot loving heart. All of that being said….

THE PATRIOTS ARE IN THE SUPER BOWL!! SSDGJSNFDSKLSNFSD.

I was dying. The game was coming down to the last seconds and I wanted so badly for the Patriots to run down the clock, prevent the Ravens from getting within field goal range. I didn’t want the game to go into overtime, I needed to breathe, I needed my body to feel at ease. We were leading by 3 points, couldn’t the game end already?! I thought to myself, “why! Why did I become a fan?! This is painful! I’m in physical pain because of how high my emotions and nerves are running!” And then it happened…the field goal was missed and I flipped…we did it! I ran to the freezer, stuck my face inside to cool off and was overcome by my emotions (is this normal or am I an abnormally emotional fan?). Disbelief. For the first time since becoming a fan I get to see my team in the Super Bowl! I wish I was actually going to it this year…but either way, they’re in it! I’m so proud.

Then I got a call from my mom (Giants fan along with my dad), excited for me and my Pats. “So now you’re going to root for the Giants, right?” She asked, thinking that only seemed fair because she had just supported my team. “Um, mom, I can’t do that…and besides, you know I’m going to be in San Francisco for the Super Bowl, it would be so fun for the 49ers to be in it.” She was mad, my brother and I are total NY traitors, a house divided. We all know the outcome of the Giants/49ers game…it all came down to a field goal for the second time that day, sending the Giants into Super Bowl 46. A re-match, my family heckling me, my Facebook newsfeed inundated with Giants support because I’m from NY, potential revenge, potential embarrassment, potentially having to avoid all forms of social media for a few months, me potentially not wanting to step foot in my home state for a few months…needless to say I’m anxious. A lot is on the line for the Pats and myself. I wasn’t a fan for that fateful Super Bowl when the Giants robbed the Pats of their perfect season but I’m a fan now, and nothing would be sweeter than my new city, which I love so very much, beating the team and city I chose to leave behind. Revenge, New England is certainly out for revenge, and if Emily Thorne from Revenge has taught me anything, “like life, revenge can be a messy business” but all you really need is a game plan and a red sharpie to ominously X out the faces of your opponent.

One year ago I was in a state of frozen elation at the Bears/Packers NFC playoff game. This year...

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:09:32 -0500

One year ago I was in a state of frozen elation at the Bears/Packers NFC playoff game. This year I’m cozy in my Patriots pjs and my Woodhead jersey but wishing I was a Patriot popsicle at Foxboro.

Let’s do this. GO PATS!

One step closer. That’s right, we showed Tebow and all the...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:34:00 -0500

One step closer. That’s right, we showed Tebow and all the Tebowers out there that perhaps sorcerers’ magic, thanks to the Salem Witches, is more powerful than Jesus’ love and who the real winning team is in a game that though less than exciting, was such a wonderful game. It feels good to be on top and safe for now. However, this feeling is fleeting and the result: excitement and nervousness for next Sunday. So many emotions.

Though the Texans gave the Ravens a run for their money, they weren’t able to pull a win in the end. As a result, those dirty birds will be migrating north for a visit to the Patriot’s house. I’m not going to predict any wins, I don’t want to jinx anything. I just want Tom to get out there with the Super Bowl on his mind and get us there by eliminating the Ravens as brutally as possible. Aggressive, I know.

The most exciting game of the weekend was of course the 49ers/Saints matchup. The 49ers gave it all they had and showed everyone just how much they wanted the win. They never gave up all the way down to the last minutes, I was on the edge of my couch. I’m hoping for, but not predicting, because I will not make any predictions involving the Pats, a 49ers/Patriots Super Bowl. I am doing this selfishly because I will be on a trip to San Francisco during Super Bowl weekend, to get my wine tour on, and would love to be present for SF’s excitement if I can’t be present for (hopefully) my city’s excitement. The Patriots and the 49ers are also the only teams left that I don’t hate with a moderate to high intensity.

Giant’s, you deserved that win, you played your hearts out against this Season’s best record-holding team, the Packers. However, I hate you, as most Pats fans do, and if we meet you again at the Super Bowl, be prepared for some (fingers crossed) retaliation. My hate for the Giants has only been increasingly amplified as I unknowingly watched the game at a Giants bar in Boston last night. Still being in the “go Patriots!” mindset, I wore my Patriots flannel to the bar not making the connection that I was also wearing the Giants’ colors and not realizing I was soon to be engulfed in a sea of obnoxious drunk Giants-loving fans screaming and mocking the adorable Aaron Rodgers for his “discount double check.” This aggravated me more than just a bit…I couldn’t even stay for the whole game it was so obnoxious.

Patriots, get in the zone. Let’s do this.