Fumbling Forward

From kickoff of the Patriots game to the Giants’ game winning field goal, I don’t think I breathed once yesterday. Well OK, maybe there was some breathing involved to scream, to writhe in agony, to text that I was freaking out, to get up to get more snacks because I needed to keep busy, and to generally keep freaking out. If either game had been more exciting, I would have feared for the well being of fans all over. Instead, today, I fear for the safety of Ravens’ kicker Billy Cundiff. For one, Ray Lewis just missed what could have been his last opportunity to play in the Super Bowl and is now talking about retirement. Cundiff, being mostly responsible for the Ravens losing their shot to beat the Patriots in overtime, might be getting a late night visit from Lewis and his gang…and as we all know, that could get ugly. Is there a safe house someone can get Billy to? Witness protection program? Maybe even just a friend or loved one to watch over him in the coming weeks, you know, just in case…I kid you not, I feel so terribly for him. My overwhelming excitement that my team was going to compete in the Super Bowl was seriously matched by how sad I was for Billy, and I admit, the Ravens. The game was such an exciting, well played game…for the whole kit and caboodle to come down to poor Billy missing a field goal, what a way to go out. The looks on their faces broke my die hard Patriot loving heart.  All of that being said….

THE PATRIOTS ARE IN THE SUPER BOWL!! SSDGJSNFDSKLSNFSD. 

I was dying. The game was coming down to the last seconds and I wanted so badly for the Patriots to run down the clock, prevent the Ravens from getting within field goal range. I didn’t want the game to go into overtime, I needed to breathe, I needed my body to feel at ease. We were leading by 3 points, couldn’t the game end already?! I thought to myself, “why! Why did I become a fan?! This is painful! I’m in physical pain because of how high my emotions and nerves are running!” And then it happened…the field goal was missed and I flipped…we did it! I ran to the freezer, stuck my face inside to cool off and was overcome by my emotions (is this normal or am I an abnormally emotional fan?). Disbelief. For the first time since becoming a fan I get to see my team in the Super Bowl! I wish I was actually going to it this year…but either way, they’re in it! I’m so proud. 

Then I got a call from my mom (Giants fan along with my dad), excited for me and my Pats. “So now you’re going to root for the Giants, right?” She asked, thinking that only seemed fair because she had just supported my team. “Um, mom, I can’t do that…and besides, you know I’m going to be in San Francisco for the Super Bowl, it would be so fun for the 49ers to be in it.” She was mad, my brother and I are total NY traitors, a house divided. We all know the outcome of the Giants/49ers game…it all came down to a field goal for the second time that day, sending the Giants into Super Bowl 46. A re-match, my family heckling me, my Facebook newsfeed inundated with Giants support because I’m from NY, potential revenge, potential embarrassment, potentially having to avoid all forms of social media for a few months, me potentially not wanting to step foot in my home state for a few months…needless to say I’m anxious. A lot is on the line for the Pats and myself. I wasn’t a fan for that fateful Super Bowl when the Giants robbed the Pats of their perfect season but I’m a fan now, and nothing would be sweeter than my new city, which I love so very much, beating the team and city I chose to leave behind. Revenge, New England is certainly out for revenge, and if Emily Thorne from Revenge has taught me anything, “like life, revenge can be a messy business” but all you really need is a game plan and a red sharpie to ominously X out the faces of your opponent.