Fumbling Forward

“Is it better to make it to the Super Bowl and suffer the ultimate crushing defeat, or to have never made it at all?” ”Why am I so upset right now?” “Jenna, you’re on vacation, buck up, this is not the end of the world, it’s just a game.” “Where is the exit…where the hell is the exit?! I have to get out of this bar ASAP!” “Is that Giants fan following me and mocking me? Seriously, man get away from me.”  ”Where is the closest frozen yogurt shop?” 

These were some of the thoughts going through my head in the moments following the Patriots’ crushing defeat.

Everyone deals with grief differently and by the 4th quarter my cell phone had been turned off as a safety precaution. Nervous eating ensued. By the end of the game I was briskly walking out of that bar, away from the TVs with their mocking stream of confetti, away from Eli’s smiling mug, and high tailing it to the closest frozen yogurt shop to soothe my soul with my favorite low cal treat (surprise surprise). My next impulse reaction: “if I’m not going to be happy, I’m going to make other people happy.” I started giving money out to the homeless. It helped a little.

The attached article was sent to me by a friend, and out of all the articles I have read in the past few days, it captures my thoughts and emotions most accurately. Author Bill Simmons has helped me cope with the Patriots loss by showing me I am not alone in my grief, way of handling my grief, and thought processes following loss, and also by pointing out 15 “silver linings” from Super Bowl 46.

First off, he confronts the haunting question, “why does this matter to me so much?” I struggled with this question Sunday night. I’m healthy. My family is healthy (and Giants fans, boo). I have wonderful friends and a fantastic boyfriend. Clearly in the grand scheme of things, losing a sporting event is not the worst thing in the world. I felt insane. I couldn’t bear to turn on my phone and see pity texts, mocking texts, Facebook victory statuses, I was crushed. “There’s no feeling quite like watching your team blowing a big game. It’s devastating. It’s paralyzing. It’s the only feeling that a 6-year-old, a 42-year-old and a 64-year-old can share exactly.” Sure, I was hurting, but how special and unique is it that all sports fans, young, old, male, female, everyone feels exactly the same; it’s just another reason to love the game.

I do truly believe that in light of every bad experience, every loss, there is a silver lining. Even if you can’t spot it at first, in time, it becomes clear. Though my feelings of sadness overwhelmed me, they were also feelings of connectivity in sorrow to an entire fandom, which is weirdly comforting, and in itself a silver lining.

That Sunday morning, Simmons went to the Hoosiers gym in Indiana and also talked his way out of a speeding ticket. As a result, Simmons found a silver lining in Sunday not only being the day that the Patriots lost the Super Bowl. Whenever I think back to Super Bowl 46, I will remember that it wasn’t just the weekend the Patriots lost the Super Bowl, but also the weekend I spent in San Francisco wine touring, eating five course French meals, and enjoying 65 degree weather in February. Certainly a silver lining.

Simmons and I also both share in the very odd joy that the Super Bowl was followed by a “To Catch a Predator” marathon. Disturbing, yes. Unintentionally hilarious, yes. Watching Chris Hansen nail those sick SOBs by tempting them with sweet tea and fake internet personas helped ease my pain. 

“Sweet Caroline” made a timely appearance on the cab’s radio as I was headed home. Boston, Patriots, I love you no matter what. I’m a newbie, it was the first time that I cared about a team in the Super Bowl and I know it won’t be the last. Super Bowl 47, watch out.

Preparing for a Super Bowl party is easy when it comes to food. Everyone will be totally satisfied with some monster sandwiches, chips and dips, and beer…lots of beer. But, As you’ve seen from pictures of mine, I like themed food, it’s way cuter and even if your not going for the “cute” vibe because it cramps your manly style, the women at your Super Bowl party will go gaga for it, and you’ll be applauded for your creativity. So, in order to feed your creative football fan foodie side, I present to you a lovely list of game time snack ideas. Enjoy!